Some thoughts on patience

When I think of all the things that God has given me over the last year, one that stands out is patience. I am not a naturally patient person. I'm the kind of guy who wishes shows would just come out on DVD right away, so I could watch the whole season in one sitting. On one occasion, I secretly and carefully unwrapped my Christmas presents a weeks early, in order to know what I was getting. Whenever I buy a gift for someone for a birthday or holiday, I always want to give it to them right away.


But there are things in life that can't be rushed. Like for example, getting a job. Just for example.

God does not adjust his timetables for our plans. This is a hard fact to swallow. But God's plans are so much more intricate and complete than ours. If I had gotten a job in August, I can't imagine all the ways my life would be lesser, but I know a few of them and I do not regret the suffering I have gone through for them.

I have been stuck on this verse in 1 Peter, chapter 5

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

I'm not trying to be a drama queen. I am positive that the "suffering" I have undergone is probably not exactly what Peter had in mind when he wrote that. I have no illusion that my life is very good, but at the same time, I can't downplay the mental suffering that I have undergone this year.

Searching for jobs sucks. Consistently putting yourself out there and being rejected is hard. Being told that the job you have worked towards for years, the job you are confident of your calling for, is just not for you, this is a hard thing to swallow. It digs into your confidence, into the most sensitive areas of your own importance and ability. But that doesn't mean that it is God saying NO, but perhaps, not now, not here.

And this is where patience appears. We hope for opportunity to appear, while working to make those opportunities available and using our time wisely as we wait. Patience means trusting that God is both in control and infinitely good. The second part is much harder to grasp, as you wake up each morning to do work you do not enjoy, as you struggle to pay bills, as your car shudders under you on the highway and you think, God, you could fix this anytime.

But the waiting period is so important, and we can be encouraged by the examples of Godly men of the past. Shoot, Noah waited 100 years for God to make it rain. In the meantime he built a gigantic ark and faced the jeers of his neighbors. Abraham waited 25 years for Isaac to be born to him. Granted he didn't handle his waiting period the best, what with the whole Hagar situation, but 25 years later, God had not forgotten him. Paul was arrested and sat in jail/was shipwrecked for 4 and a half years as he waited to appeal to Caesar. We know from his writings that he spent all that time sharing the gospel with his guards, politicians, and basically anyone who would hear from him.

But here is the trick with patience. It is so easy to lose sight of the end goal. We grow disheartened. This turns us to laziness. We are patient because we trust God. We become lazy when we feel God has failed us and we are too hurt to trust. Laziness is really nothing but unbelief and lack of faith, because if we had faith then there would be no time for laziness. We would realize that the in-between-God's-plans time is anything but a waiting period. It is a period of action. This is when God changes us. The end goal is not reward, but a completion of the change God has made in us. In the end this time of "waiting" in which I grow in my faith and disciple people and share the gospel is infinitely more important than any job I could ever be hired for. There is no time for laziness while there are so many people who still have not experienced true love.

But honestly, in my weakness, sometimes I am just lazy. Full disclosure here, that's what you get.