Space Janitor

I used this phrase today and then Promised Emily that I would write a post explaining myself.

I want to be a space janitor. I have literally had dreams where I was a space janitor. I know what you are thinking, "Way to shoot high there Coryell". But before you put that flashy Judging Hat on, the one that is made out of purple velvet and you spent four hours Bedazzling, hear me out.

He is so happy to be there that he is not even worried about the terribly ugly uniform he is forced to wear. Or that haircut...

The other day on NPR they were talking about how Obama was planning to change NASA's mission to focus on deep space exploration, instead of its current goal, of reaching the moon and eventually establishing a base on it. I proceeded to scream at my radio "Dangit Obama! I want to go to the moon!" which I recognize, is exactly what a crazy person would do/say. I was just really disappointed, because it could ruin my chances of being space janitor.

My theory is that at some point in my life, we will establish a base on the moon. Most likely it will be some sort of sciencey base, or maybe even a mining colony, to get that precious Helium-3. Either way, the jobs being done there will never be something that I qualify for. I know this because I have a degree in History, which, as I have quickly learned in my job search, qualifies me for nothing. Except maybe to say "well actually,..." when someone mentions some historical fact that I wish to repudiate.

But every moonbase needs someone to clean up poop and stuff right? You still poop in space, as far as I am aware. The baseboards will need to be dusted every few months. And who will put sawdust down when somebody accidentally space vomits? So all in one grab, I am going to shoot both high and low. The first space janitor in history. That is my goal.